Q+A WITH OSHI HAMPSON

MASSAGE MAGIC: LOCAL RMT BRINGS PEOPLE BACK FROM DEATH ... AT LEAST FEELING LIKE DEATH

Oshi Hampson, owner of Parhelia Massage Therapy, has been an RMT for seven years.

Oshi Hampson opened Parhelia Massage Therapy about a year-and-a-half ago and has been an RMT for seven years, which I believe stands for Really Magical Toucher. She combines myofacial release with deep-tissue techniques, and spoke with Reved about her superpowers.


RQ Tell us about your black magic — what got you into this profession of sorcery?

OH Well, I would say that it’s more the body that is the black magic. I’m just the person who tries to figure it out. I’ve always liked trying to find the line between the mental and physical.

RQ Have you ever brought anyone back from the dead?

OH Yes.

RQ Wait, actually?

OH Well no, but I’ve definitely brought multiple people out of bad physical shape. I’ve seen some pretty miraculous transformations.

RQ What other super powers do you possess?

OH I love winter and snowboarding and biking. I don’t like the city or too many people. I guess I’m really good about doing my own thing.

RQ That’s an excellent super power. So, you grew up Rossland, how does it compare to Revelstoke?

OH It’s virtually the same place.

RQ Do you find it magical here?

OH Revelstoke is magical. The Kootenays are magical. BC is magical. I think the forest is kind of spooky, and nature is full of secrets. The woods are basically the setting of every scary movie.

RQ What is the craziest thing you’ve experienced in your time as a RMT?

OH Oh gosh, it would have to be the mental component and how it manifests and presents itself. Something might seem totally unrelated, but I’ve learned the body has no rhyme or reason, and you have to be willing to roll with that. Everytime I treat someone, it’s different.

RQ Anything specifically weird or anomalous? 

OH I once treated a liver that cured a shoulder pain.

RQ Crazy! How does that even happen?

OH Magic. I do visceral work.

RQ You mean, like—

OH—like organs. Sometimes the next step is to look deeper. Zoe (her partner at Parhelia) does cranial sacral therapy.

RQ What’s that, some kind of Vulcan mind melt?

OH I don’t know how to do it, so I’m not the best to explain it. It’s a manipulation of cerebrospinal spinal fluid.

RQ How did you come up with the name Parhelia?

OH I did lot of Google searching.

RQ I assume it’s some sort of celestial power you harness with witchcraft?

OH It’s the scientific term for sundogs. It’s ice prisms in the air creating a halo around the sun. It’s what you see when you’re at the top of RMR and it’s really frigging cold.

RQ What do you think about renaming October “Oshtober”?

OH I think that’s a bit too much for me.

RQ Do you have a paranormal bent?

OH I used to do séances as a kid. I definitely think spirits are among us. In all shapes and forms. They’re in people and in objects and they’re floating around and I think guiding us.


AD—ParheliaFall18

Sign up for quarterly (4 per year) emails featuring

funny news, contest details and special promotions.