10 MUST-DO’S BEFORE YOU DIE

What must every Revelstokian do before shucking this mortal coil?

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HERE COME THE WATER WORKS!    Watching the dam spillway in action is a sight to behold. BC Hydro frequently releases water to maintain a minimum flow of 5,000 cubic feet per second. However, that usually correlates with low-electricity periods, (overnight, for example) and is done without any warning. This may explain why you’ve lived your entire life here and never seen the magnificent industrial waterfall. That said, very rarely, when lots of water is coming into the system, the dam uses its spillway over the course of a few days and notifies the public. Before 2012, the most recent spill was 1997. But hey, maybe this year … 

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WALKING DEAD There are many incredible stories of pioneers buried in the local cemetery. Luckily for us, Revelstoke Museum & Archives curator Cathy English is here to bring them to life. (The stories, that is, not the people — she’s not a miracle worker.) English gives colourful, informative and occasionally bone-chilling Heritage Cemetery Tours unearthing our town’s rich history. Guided tours start at 3 p.m., cost $5 per person and take about an hour-and-a-half. You can either meet at the cemetery gates or call the museum for a ride. The next tours are June 14, 28, July 12, 26. (For groups of hardcore history buffs, she can arrange a private tour.)

Getting close to the action is easy to do safely behind the fencing. Photo by Matthew Timmins
(Photo: Matthew Timmins)

GET AXED    Life is simply too short not to throw sharp, heavy objects. Thankfully, Revelstoke now has a sweet new axe-throwing joint to huck axes until your axe-hucking heart’s content. Peak Axe Throwing (415-B Victoria Road) is open and owner Dustin Roskam has personally given the building the makeover of a lifetime. It can host groups of four or more. It costs $25 per person per hour, which includes proper supervision and throwing tips … so you don’t accidentally kill yourself/anybody.

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(Photo: Peter Worden)

SIP OF DEATH Throw back a shot of “Don’t Fear The Reaper” at Monashee Spirits. It is just like Dawson City’s famous Sourtoe Cocktail, only, more “full-bodied.” (The distillery is next-door to the funeral home… ) Seriously, though, local barkeep and boozinator Josh  the “Under-Tabler” McLafferty makes a deadly drink.

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(Photo: Alex Cooper)

PED TIL UR DEAD   Get out for a night with the hard-bikin’, hard-boozin’ Thursday night Pedal n’ Pint crew … even if you’re out of shape and exercise will probably kill you. The physiological high you get afterward, along with perhaps the, ahem, actual high, can be very rewarding.

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(Photo: Revy Riders)

BECOME ONE WITH THE EARTH    Tear up the dirt… before becoming it. Go dirt biking at the Revy Riders Club. You can buy a yearly membership (at Rough Country Marine, Infinite Powersports or Glacier House Resort), or purchase a day pass at the kiosk. Help keep the non-profit club alive, grooming and growing more trails.

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RIVER OF DEATH  Float the Mighty Illecillewaet of DEATTTHHHHHH. It’s the thrill of a lifetime, whether you’re 9 or 99 and not nearly as deadly as you may think. Local rafting outfit Apex has been guiding on the river for 25 years with a top-notch safety record; the only significant injuries to speak of have been two little cuts.

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RIVER OF LIFE  Paddle up the Columbia under the bridges and around Big Eddy flats while the water is high. Then, go with flow as the river brings you back to your car.

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POUR ONE OUT WITH YOUR HOMIES — Beer. How could humans ever live without it? In fact, historically, without beer the Dark Ages would have been a whole lot darker. People of every age drank beer; nobody drank water. Water was contaminated. Boiling it for beer purified it into a delightfully drinkable liquid. What better way to honour the drink that saved the human race than by taking a tour of our local life-saving Mt. Begbie Brewery in its spanky newly opened digs.

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KISS THE SKY — We’re all going to die some day, anyway. Why not launch yourself off a mountaintop today! Paraglide off Cartier. You can fling your own carcass to the wind if you don’t mind it being a one-time thing, or, better yet, opt to go tandem so you can sit and enjoy the heavenly view of Rogers Pass from high above Mount MacKenzie.


HONORABLE MENTIONS …

OBITUARY MATERIAL Volunteer! Before it’s too late. Sure, it’s not a death-defying act to pitch in on a bottle drive or spend an evening trail-building. But it certainly helps keep the community spirit alive. Lots of events and organizations fully rely on volunteers to survive, so consider being a lifeline and lend a helping hand.

LEAVE A LASTING LEGACY—Local techonaut Jean-Marc LaFlamme was sent to Revelstoke from the future where humankind has already achieved immortality. He says living forever totally succccks if we can’t solve very real, very large challenges such as housing, food, transportation, the economy and climate. While alive, be part of positive social, environmental and technological change.

MANY THANKS!—to everyone for submitting ideas and photos for this issue.


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