>> Peter Worden
There simply can’t be an issue about DEATHHH without a bit of death metal.
The hosts of Stoke FM’s Monday Mayhem — Lerritt Robinson, Matt Gawler and Chris Ford — truly know death … metal … although, they mostly play punk, heavy metal, sludge metal, doom metal, stoner rock, black metal (an offshoot of death metal) and, really, just a sprinkling of pure death metal.
As one of StokeFM’s longest-running, most prolific shows they’ve treated local head-banging faithful to an assault of the airwaves every Monday night for two hours over the last five years.
“We’re the only show with a bumper sticker,” states Lerritt.
Lerritt and Chris like death metal but it’s not their favourite cup of heavy metal tea. Matt says: “As long as it has balls, you can play it on this show.”
Between giant gulps of Sleeman cream ale — “dad beer” — the three bat around their morbid funeral fantasies. “Yes,” says Robinson, having already considered it thoroughly, “I want a buffet around my casket.”
“I want a buffet around my casket.”
Ford has also given his funeral some thought: “Like Hunter S. Thompson, I want to be shot out of cannon. But not cremated. I would like my corpse to be shot out of it,” he says, and quickly clarifies ***frozen*** so that he doesn’t just plop out the end like sausage.
“Greased and naked,” adds Matt, who, in fact, has a family lineage of funeral services. Gawler Funeral Services in the US buries all the American presidents. “They buried Reagan, they buried Jackie O when she died,” he explains, “—so when are they going to bury Trump?” jokes Chris.
Matt inquired how much it would cost to carry out his funeral wish—just chuck his body in the woods. The answer was a million bucks. “It would cost that much in bribes because it’s completely illegal. If somebody finds the body, you’re f●●●●●. It’s a tricky proposition. But that’s how I’d like it—just rot in a tree.”
FRIENDSHIP FUSED IN METAL
The Revy trio are lifelong friends from Toronto. They met in high school and formed a metal band called the Lerritt Robinson Trio. They even played at Toronto’s El Mocambo, a legendary nightclub where the Rolling Stones’ first live album was recorded. They won a battle of the bands and, all in the same night, got banned for life.
But the health benefits of heavy metal are well documented — at least, the health benefits of hosting a heavy metal radio show with your closest buds. “I read that the surest way to extend your lifespan is to have a regular function where you hang out with old friends,” notes Matt, adding that the article suggested playing bridge or meeting friends at Starbucks on Wednesday.
“This is our version of Starbucks on Wednesday.”