Finally, a dictionary for the ordinary skidiot

Welcome to “Schralp City” where the local lexicon can get a little bit “janky” at times. Thankfully, to help you avoid embarrassment or offending anyone, Reved proudly presents this first-ever local—by no means exhaustive— dictionary. Thank you all for your suggestions!

Big Eddy dinner jacket n. Storm rider denim jacket. Appropriate for all formal events in the Big Eddy.

Bighetto n. Portmanteau alluding to Big Eddy’s ghettoliciousness. (See also: Spaghetti Market.)

Birthday Boot n. Beer drunk from a boot on your birthday. Etymology: the Ole’ Frontier used to give you “One Free Birthday Boot.”

Brown Belt n. The pathway where Greenbelt ends and Industrial begins.

FTN (Also, “foamer.”) n. Meaning “Effing Train Nut”; one who stands and stares (often foaming) at passing trains.

Cannibal Snow n. Wet spring snow that will eat winter snow.

Goosed’er v. Getting big air on a jump. Synonyms: Given’er; Sending it, Practically pro.

Dickered v. Over-imbibing.

Gnar: noun, verb, adverb and adjective, meaning anything.

Hug-n-Slug: n. Handle of Revelstoke’s beloved, long-gone King Edward Pub aka.  “King Eddy,” previously at  the corner of Orton and Second, which burned down in 1995. (See Facebook tribute page.) The aptly nicknamed bar was famous for its patrons who, if they didn’t find a mate by closing time, resorted to fisticuffs.

Janky adj. Unusual in a dangerous way. Used to describe anything from an awkward blown-out corner on a bike trail to a strong homemade beer.

Little Italy n. (Also, “Meatball Meadows”) The delicious-sounding area of Southside populated largely by Italian settlers. (See also: Spaghetti Junction)

Local: n. A problematic term in town. Essentially, anyone who’s lived here 12 consecutive months. But that’s Level One With Quotations “Local.” Quantum physicists believe there are as many as 20 dimensions to “local” in Revelstoke, for example, Level 18 is a born-in-Save-On-meat-department local. Level 19 is Lord Revelstoke himself.

Mainer n. (as in, to pull a “mainer”): Informal. When-bored teens do laps down Main Street.

Mudding v. To get stuck and unstuck in the mud intentionally, often at the Flats.

Nuts-to-butts adj. Two or more people sitting bobsled-style on one snowmobile.

Plaiding v. A majority of persons in a group wearing plaid.

Poochluck n. A potluck intended for canine exercise. (Or, if there are more dogs than humans at a potluck.)

Powder Slug n. Rickety chairlift at Revelstoke’s first ski hill on Mt. Mackenzie. May also refer to one’s whip.

Practically Pro n. Practically everyone in Revelstoke; adv. performing unpaid feats of great awesomeness.

Puking v. Snowfall if the Powder God got dickered last night.

Revelstuck v. If one is unable to leave Revelstoke due to highway closure—typically an accident, avalanche control, puking snowfall, combination of all three, or, occasionally, a fugitive  and police standoff.

Revelstruck v. When one’s unable or unwilling to leave Revelstoke due to its great beauty and fine townspeople. Not to be confused with—but sometimes as a result of—being Revelstuck. (See above.)

Roofalanche n. Self-explanatory.

Schralp City n. Term for Revelstoke. (“Schralp” is a ‘gnar-word’ for “shred.”)

Shafty n. One or more shots espresso spiked with one or more shots Kahlua. Often served at the Regent. Etymology: Calgarian, actually.

Sidewhacked v. Expression at the Revelstoke Dam for being sidetracked by force.

Six-, Eight- and 12-Mile n. Well, Six Mile is at the Flats closest to town. Eight-Mile you drive to from Six-Mile. If you go past Eight-Mile, you get to 12-Mile which is what some people sometimes call Six-Mile. It all makes perfect sense.

Skidiot n. Derogatory. Term for short-term, broke, smelly skier. Likely coined by Snob Hill residents.

Smores n. Acronym for Single Mothers of Revelstoke. (Incidentally, a SMOG warning is in effect for Golden.)

Snob Hill n. Derogatory. Term for Arrow Heights. Likely coined by skidiots.

Snow Maze n. The path you take to navigate accumulated piles of plowed snow in the middle of the road.

Spaghetti Junction n. Janky corner of Victoria Road and Fourth Street. Synonyms: Bocci Corner, Five Corners.

Spaghetti Market n. The Big Eddy Market. Etymology: Babbled by toddlers mispronouncing Big Eddy, but the name stuck since Vince sells Italian food.

STD n. A stereotypical newcomer with a Subaru, tuque and dog. (See also: “Tuque-n-dogger.”)

The Flats n. Occasionally referred to as “The Floods” depending how much electricity the dam is generating.

Toque-n-dogger n. (i) Original term for ski bum or fresh “local” who’s moved to Revelstoke primarily to ski; non-derogatory. Typically wears tuque all year-round and has a large misbehaved dog. May or may not drive a Subaru. (See also: “STDs”) Etymology: Credit to Klaus Ortwein, who owned the Villager ski shop where Big Bend Café is today.) (ii) Type of hippy tree planter who works primarily to have time to drink coffee with their dog. Likely named Mike.

Spicy: adv. Sketchy, kind of.

Trained v. Daily inconvenience of residents on CPR Hill just trying to be punctual on their way into town. If they leave their house and hear the telltale railroad crossing bells, they go back inside because they just got trained.

Wave-by n. A drive-by waving because everyone knows your car.

Irie & Fiery

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