1. GET A GOOD TEAM THEME. I can’t stress this enough. A good theme may not improve your batting average or general athleticism per se, but by golly you will win the night life down at Queen Elizabeth Park. Pirates arrrrrrgh always welcome.
2. ALWAYS CARRY A BEER BONG. Always. Even if you’re not a drinker — especially if you’re not — the beer bong is the ultimate Trojan horse in bush league baseball. While you’re “helping” your opponent guzzle a PBR tallboy, your team is rounding third. Well played.
3. SIGN UP AT LEAST ONE HEAVY-HITTER. Preferably Andy, right here. If you don’t win the the tournament prize, your cash cow could still win the homerun derby and pick up the bar tab later.
4. YOU’ll NEED THESE, TOO. That’s Josiah and that’s a margarita fro-yo from Twisted Berry he’s holding. You’ll want both nearby.
5. REDNECK UP YOUR BASEBALL EXPERIENCE. I don’t know what’s going on here, exactly, all I know is it involves mixing tropical drinks with a two-stroke engine. If you get an idea to jury rig a pitching machine to your ice-maker or make team pancakes on an engine block, go with it.
6. BRING THE KIDLETS. Don’t let the crazy yahoos deter you. This is an all-ages event. There’s a Family Zone and all the junk food your kids can possibly handle. Plus someone’s gotta keep the ‘dults in check.
7. TAKE IT EASY. It happens to the best of us. Three days of fun in the sun can leave you pretty tuckered out. Make sure to hydrate, chill out and, if need be, hitch a ride on buddy’s bat bag to the next diamond.
8. DON’T LET RAIN RUIN YOUR YOUR GAME. Use it. The Glacier Challenge usually gets at least four torrential downpours. But rain can bring out your inner mud monster and give you an advantage over other players standing there getting trenchfoot.
9. OR HAIL . . . What can I say, it’s the GLACIER CHALLENGE, people, not the warm, sunny cakewalk.If you absolutely must miss a game, I think you know what to do with all that ice. As they say, when life hands you hail, make more margaritas.
10. DO AS THE SALMON ARMIANS DO. These guys were born for Glacier Challenge. Be like Chet, who can turn any rain delay into the most exciting part of the game.
11. PLAY BALL. That’s what it’s all about. Have fun, be safe and we all win.
REGISTER YOUR TEAM HERE.